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Who, why… so what?


  • A niece falls pregnant out-of-wedlock. ‘So what? It was a planned pregnancy, it’s such happy news.’
  • A friend, colleague, son or daughter lives with their partner. ‘So what, what they do in their bedroom has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s their choice. He/she is not my or your responsibility. It’s none of your business!’
  • The stranger on the bus uses profanities and racist slurs against someone on the bus. ‘So? It’s not your problem.’ 
  • Your niece is being emotionally abused by her boyfriend. ‘It’s between her and her partner, and up to her parents to get involved.Why should you get involved.’
  • A colleague has shared that she is considering an abortion. ‘Why?So what…it’s her body, her baby, the time’s not right , she’s too young, she wasn’t in a serious relationship….’
  • A close friend’s child is moving from one ‘serious’ relationship to another in quick succession. These relationships seem to follow the set pattern of:-  moving in together and setting up house, and then very soon, upping sticks and moving on to the next relationship and setting up house in a new neighbourhood. ‘So? What’s your problem? Youth is for living to the full. For experimentation, We only live once! Live every day to the fullest.’
  • A teenager known to you, smokes regularly. His parents don’t know. ‘Let them continue to believe what they believe right now. Don’t rock the boat’. 
  • A young couple comes to visit and decides to stay over until morning. ‘They’re in love, let them be.’
  • Someone mentions that Cameron’s decision to move forward on the legalisation of gay marriage, is the best decision he’s made for some time. ‘Everyone to their own. Everyone has a right to an opinion. It’s the way things are. Who cares? Live and let live.’
  • A ‘catholic’ acquaintance proudly announces that he and his now  wife, moved in together before they married and he has encouraged his children to do the same. ‘Who cares, move with the times’.

As a Catholic Christian I have been challenged by similar scenarios and have done my best to make a moral case in favour of the right choice in each case. As a Christian. 

The more the years go by,and my life experience broadens I feel Exasperated. Deflated. Desperate. Side-lined and Ignored. Dismissed. My Christian witness seems to be in vain. It falls on deaf ears.  My views as a Christian, especially as a Catholic Christian, are just not taken seriously.images (2)

My question to you is: why bother?After sharing a fundamental Truth, it’s seemingly tolerated, heard, and promptly forgotten.

I believe in Jesus. I believe in His plan for the salvation of mankind. I believe in His Life, Death and Resurrection for my sake and yours. It’s fine to profess these beliefs and to discuss these beliefs in the company of my fellow Christians, but is it worth the flack and derision I get when I support the teachings of the Church with my neighbour, when these values are looked upon as outdated, and irrelevant in secular society. Nobody cares.

Really, they don’t.


Leave a comment


  1. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness heeds it not; but without the light, the darkness would be total.

    • Hi Jess, thanks for the encouragement, however, the Light of Christ of which you’re speaking is only seen as a light by Christians as we are the torch-bearers for Christ. My experience is, that what Christians understand as an absolute Truth is refuted as interference and is counter-cultural. The values by which I live are dismissed and does not make one bit of blind difference to anyone who isn’t Christian.
      I can see why Christianity can become held close to one’s chest and remain there as a ‘private’ matter. I live through these experiences from year to year in my extended and close family circle.

  2. I understand the point you are making. We sometimes see wrongs in life which we’d like to see right; but it is not up to us to make them right. I often hand over such situations and the people involved over to God. Praying for others and trusting Him is often what is required of us.

    God bless.

    • I appreciate you comment Victor.
      I see it as my duty to uphold Christ’s teachings and to be a reminder to those around me of God’s way and why certain choices will be detrimental to their families, to themselves and to wider society.
      Surely it’s up to us as Christians to say when decisions/opinions/actions are wrong? It feels like I’m fighting a losing battle against a tsunami of unbelief and disbelief. I know that it’s not up to me, it’s up to God, but it would be comforting every so often to get a ‘thank you for caring’ rather than, ‘ You’re not serious? It doesn’t really matter…’ ‘You believe what you believe…’ ‘You wouldn’t understand because you’re a Christian’.

  3. We cannot make people do what we want or expect. But one very effective way of eliciting behavior modification which is undervalued is modeling the behavior. We can affect the world by living lives in Christian example of charity, morality, responsibility and integrity. Living as an example is one powerful way of giving testimony.

    • Thanks for the comment Carl.
      This is a topic really close to my heart, as I experience these responses very nearly on a weekly basis.
      The issues raised in the post are not too far off the mark when it comes to people I know and experiences I’ve had.
      I appreciate that I cannot expect them to act or live the way that I want, but it would be comforting to know that my Christian beliefs are recognised and respected as valuable and important.They are more often than not reflected back to me as irrelevant, outdated and totally off the charts.
      My worry is, that yes I do my best to live by example when it come to Faith, Hope and Charity, but that I too am only human….I will fail, I do fail … and those failures are remembered more so than the good things. So what’s the point?

  4. Filipe de Melo

     /  January 24, 2014

    How do you think our Lord felt, on the cross? Accepted? Encouraged? Recognised? Included? Respected? Accompanied? Rewarded?
    We shouldn’t presume to deserve better than He. To follow Jesus is to follow The Cross.
    Take a moment to read Job 16:10; Job 30:10; Isaiah 50:6; Micah 5:1 and Mathew 26:67 and then meditate prayerfully on Luke 9:23.
    Don’t be discouraged and hold on fast, to the Lord.

  5. Thank you Filipe, how the Bible verses comfort me. Thank you.

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